Dear Dr Ruth
by fragonknight01
Summary: Narcissa finds Draco and his henchmen cursed and bound after the train returns to Platform 9 & 3/4 at the end of 5th year and decides to assume the duties of Malfoy Regent to ensure the survival of the Malfoy and Black clans...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers: JKR still owns it all. I write AU/OOC...if you want canon you picked the wrong story.

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><p>Dear Doctor Ruth...<p>

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><p>Our story begins as Narcissa Malfoy had to enter the Hogwarts Express in search of her son who had not disembarked from it in a timely manner. She found her son and his two goons in a sorry state of health and in definite need of medical attention. Since she had no doubts what-so-ever that their physical conditions were the results of their own idiocy she reckoned that it was time for her to step in and assume the mantle of Malfoy Regent. And, things were going to be done her way!<p>

She levitated all three boys off the train but left the two henchmen lying on the platform. If their parents were smart enough to recognize their children- Good. If not, too bad! Her son she would take home and begin to rehabilitate immediately. The Malfoy stupidity could no longer be left unchecked to run rampant. She would do what she had to to save her only child from both her husband and the idiot he served.

And so the plot thickens...

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><p>Narcissa Malfoy was just about as pleased as a woman could be when the Mediwizard she called in to attend her son rose from his position beside Draco's bed and announced, "Madame, I have done all I can do for your child. Most of the spells which hit him have been reversed or cancelled. However, there is one spell which I have not been able to dispel."<p>

The aristocratic blonde spoke gently so as not to spook the healer, "What spell were you not able to dispel?"

"Someone seems to have hit him with the Veela Charm. Nothing I tried seems to be working."

"Not to worry. There are the occasional Veela genes in both my husband's and my family trees."

The healer blanched. "Oh! This is terribly unfortunate news!"

"Why so?"

"Because the reversal spell cannot cancel the true appearance of the gene itself. It could, however, cause the victim to become gender confused..."

Narcissa threw back her head and laughed delightedly. Her blue eyes, normally so cold and calculating, flashed with pleasure.

The healer, well used to the eccentricies of the aristocracy, was not too worried. "I will leave a few calming draughts with you in case they are needed, yes?" It was obvious that the man thought Narcissa was overwrought regarding the situation.

She still had a small case of the giggles as she rose gracefully from the edge of the settee that she had the house elf move into Draco's room for her while the healer worked on restoring him to health. After escorting the healer back to the floo room and thanking him once again for his prompt and valuable service, she waited until he had flooed away and broke out in the most evil cackle heard at Malfoy Manor in several decades.

Then rubbing her hands together gleefully as she acknowledged the coming together of a perfect plan, she headed back upstairs to her once-son's room. The world need never know that it was Narcissa Malfoy herself that cast the curse on Draco that activated his Veela gene...


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: JKR still owns it all. I write AU/OOC...if you want canon you picked the wrong story.

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><p>Dear Doctor Ruth...<p>

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><p>Chapter 2:<p>

The first thing Draco Malfoy did after waking from the healing coma was to start screaming for his mommy. His house elf showed up instead. The house elf, acting on orders from Narcissa, took him straight to the bathroom so he could take care of his personal hygiene then informed him that he was to dress for dinner and join her in the family dining room. Draco found nothing odd in this because neither his mother nor the damn elf ever listened to what he wanted anyway…

Draco greeted his mother with a kiss on the cheek before sliding gracefully into the chair the elf escorted him to. The next several minutes were devoted solely to sating his appetite. Since he had received no nourishment except nutrition potions since his accident no mention was made regarding the enthusiasm with which dinner was decimated.

Narcissa waited until they had retired to the parlor and Draco was comfortably seated before broaching the subject. With all the style and finesse of a seasoned social brawler, she inquired, "So, Draco, just what the hell were you trying to prove when you accosted Potter and his friends on the train? Especially since you knew you were going to get your ass handed to you!"

Instead of the tirade she was expecting, Narcissa was subjected to watching her offspring lick his chops and while shuddering delicately murmur, "Potter's arse! Yummy! Mummy, please tell me every little detail!"

"Did you just use three exclamation marks in one paragraph, Draco, or did the author get carried away with her grammatical inferences?" Narcissa inquired instead of answering his question.

Draco giggled delightedly. "A little of both I think."

"OH?" Her eyebrow raised.

"Mummy, stop teasing and tell me what you know about 'the Harry incident' on the train."

"From what the medi-wizard who attended you said, you are lucky to be alive from the combination of all the charms and hexes that hit you. When I found you on the train you looked rather like a giant slug. Rather than dealing with the stress of changing you back, my original thought was to sell you to Rubeus Hagrid as an exotic pet. But then I remembered he likes that French giantess and worried that they would eat you as an entrée before one of their orgies…"

Draco flinched. "Thank you, Mummy, for having me fixed instead."

"Speaking of fixed- there is something that you should know now that you are awake and coherent enough to understand the medical procedures that were inflicted on you in the interest of saving your life."

Draco calmly stared at his mother. "Please, Mother, I know that you cast the Veela Awakening spell on me. I was comatose, not in a coma. I could feel the different magics as they were either placed on me or removed from me the whole time."

Narcissa ducked her head to hide the blush. "I am sorry, Draco, for not giving you the option of saying no."

Draco giggled. "Don't worry about it, Mummy. It will just be our dirty little secret. And, since I already knew I was gay and that I fancy Harry Potter, well, this makes things so much easier for me. You help me get my man and I won't tell Father that you did the unforgivable spell."

Narcissa's smile was back in full force. "I was thinking that you might want to come with me tomorrow to the Day Spa. I found a particularly nice one located in the town of Greater Whinging. It is a modest sized hamlet in Surrey. Far enough away from Wiltshire that we should not be recognized, and close enough to Little Whinging that we might hit their High Street and take in the sights."

"I would love to spend the day with you at the Spa, Mummy. What time do you want to leave here? Oh, and what should I wear?"

"I like the way Samayel dressed you when she wrote _A Long Way from Home_. 1 Pink leather pants and a midriff bearing top does SO scream summer 'camp'! I wasn't too keen on the lip piercing but the naval jewelry was a nice touch."

"So I will need a manicure, a pedicure, and a facial at least right?"

"Just do the excess body hair removal charm before we go out and we can work the other bits in as we think of them."

Draco went back upstairs to his suite humming softly. His house elf heard him and could not help but comment, "Master Draco! How many times has your father told you that if you hums that you is to hums I'm in the money, not roll me over in the clover do it again?"2

1. Awesome story found on fanfic...

2. An old Clover Butter commecial 2002.


	3. Biscuit anyone?

Chapter 3: Biscuits anyone?

The first thing to stir Harry out of his apathetic state regarding the death of his godfather was the ringing of the telephone. Normally the phone sat on its decorator table and was as silent and unprepossessing as Harry himself. This was the fourth time the phone rang in the space of an hour. The phone ringing was always the first indication a scandal was brewing in Little Whinging.

Harry wanted to know what was happening, but cleaning the house would not wait. So, he threw a few wandless cleaning charms around the upstairs bathroom and then made his way down the steps to begin cleaning the downstairs water closet where he could more easily eavesdrop on Petunia's conversation.

From what he could gather, there had been a chauffeur driven Bentley at the spa in Greater Whinging earlier in the day and the car was now parked on High Street causing traffic congestion. The old biddies had their knickers in knots because the chauffeur had been seen escorting a black haired lady with a shocking streak of blonde into the tea shop. Harry was immediately intrigued; what was Narcissa Malfoy doing in this neck of the woods?

Petunia hung up the phone and called to Dudley that she would like him to go out with her for a bit. As soon they were out of the house, Harry raced back up the steps and changed into his jogging pants and trainers and took off out the back way. He could cut through the park and down the alley behind Budgen's Supermarket and wind up back on High Street making it look like he had just ran the whole four mile loop around the hamlet.

Narcissa and Draco did the morning spa routine and decided to spend the rest of the day stalking Harry. Or, in the interest of making Harry feel safer about the town he lives in, they decided to take tea on High Street before investigating the quaint little wide spot in the road named Little Whinging.

Narcissa tried for all of five minutes to maintain her exuberance. The tepid tea and Hagridesque biscuits being passed off as consumable was the last insult. She dumpted the tea down the bitchy little waitress'es front then tossed one of the biscuits at the plate glass window. The window breaking was not unexpected…

It was plain old 'Black' luck that Petunia Dursley was walking past just then and wound up being bashed in the back of the head by the biscuit with enough force to cause blunt force trauma. it was also 'Black' luck that Dudley was walking with his mother and stopped to help her back up on her feet. It was of little consequence that he picked up the biscuit, that could have been viewed as an 'attempt at murder' weapon by the legal community, and ate it.

Draco was staring at Dudley in a horrified fashion as the large boy (or small whale?) licked the crumbs from his lips. "YOU actually ate that thing?" He finally managed to articulate.

Dudley blinked several times as he processed the vision of Draco Lucius Malfoy. Unable to identify the species (never mind the sex), he spoke. "Yeah, usually those biscuits are not that soft."

Narcissa shook her head in denial of the incident. "I suppose breaking through a window and still having enough force to cause a concussion would soften it up a bit."

Draco nodded his head in agreement. Then he added another observation that was more of a sad commentary. "Why do they call this place Little Whinging? We have been here all of fifteen minutes and already have the desire to rename the place Big Whinging."

Dudley was trying to be helpful. "Do you mean Greater Whinging? It is about six kilometers down the road that way." He pointed toward a sign that indicated the turnoff for Huntington (incorporated 1266). All this time Dudley had been standing in place and holding his mother steady while she tried to regain her equilibrium.

Petunia was finally regaining her faculties, and realized that the blonde-striped lady and the androgynous teen with her were not regulars in town. At least Petunia had that impression as the bobby tried to get the lady to admit culpability for damages to the shop.

The bobby was just about to call for back up when the object of the Malfoy search-and-molest mission showed up. Harry appeared to have been jogging around the block (one of those farm blocks that estimated about four miles around) when he spotted trouble.

He headed over to where Petunia was still clinging to the rail that guided people into the walking trail with one hand while the other was firmly clenched onto Dudley's arm. "Aunt Petunia, are you going to be alright?"He managed to say before Petunia crumpled neatly into his extended arms.

Narcissa tucked her wand back into her sleeve. "Oh, Lord Potter, we were just looking for you."

Harry was having a difficult time keeping Petunia from connecting with the ground a second time and could not answer her straight away. "Dudley, a little help here!" He managed sharply before adding in a softer tone of voice, "You mother may need to visit the surgery."

Dudley's head spun back around to fixate on his mother from where he had been staring at Draco. He had finally figured out that the androgynous creature was a male. Interestingly enough, it seemed to be a male who was inclined toward favoring Harry Potter with his charms. "What?"

"Your mum. The Doctors surgery. Now!" Harry's decisive tone cut through the rest of the confusion Dudley was experiencing.

"Oh, Yeah." Before Narcissa could suggest the use of her car to take the woman home, Dudley plucked Petunia out of Harry's shaking arms and headed across the street to the Doctor's surgery.

Draco turned guileless blue-grey eyes to Harry. "Do you suppose that woman will be OK?"

Harry watched Dudley carry his mother across the street and in the door that was being held open by a helpful receptionist before turning to the Malfoys. "Yeah, she probably did not eat again and most likely passed out from low blood sugar."

Not haveing seen the biscuit turned rogue bludger attack Petunia, the bobby could only agree with that statement. Mrs. Dursley did look like a dedicated dieter. There was, however, still the issue of the window. He had turned back to the blonde-streaked lady and gently cleared his throat when he was interrupted by Harry finally acknowledging her.

"Cousin Narcissa!" Harry smiled pleasantly at the beautiful woman and bent to kiss the back of her hand before adding, "What brings Lady Malfoy and her dearest child to the fair town of Little Whinging?"

She smirked, "Draco could not mange another day without you."

Harry's face morphed into the 'what the hell did you just say' look before articulating, "Huh?"

The bobby used that bit of confusion to reenter the conversation. "Now! About this window…"

Draco rolled his eyes and huffed before opening his clutch purse. "Here!" He said rather sharply. "Fix the window and keep the change!"

The bobby looked at the blond boy/thing and then to the shop keeper who was reaching for the fifty quid note. "Is this alright with you?" He asked the proprietor.

The shop keeper nodded happily that it was fine. Mainly because the glass cutter at the hardware store was her husband and he would give her the glass at cost, install the piece for her, and she would keep all the lovely extra.

Harry seemed to be working on auto pilot as he reached down and picked up Aunt Petunia's dropped shopping. He took a casual peek inside to make a educated guess of what the woman had been nutty enough to purchase while out gathering information for the gossip mill.

Narcissa stepped closer. "Harry, do you think that it would be acceptable if Draco and I were to return to your house with you and wait to see if your aunt will make a full recovery from this horrible ordeal?"

Green eyes glared at the beautiful woman. She saw the fear and anger in his body stance. "It's just that I feel somewhat responsible for your aunt. It was a bit of a mistake for me to fling the biscuit while I was feeling displeased regarding the tea serice."

Draco edged closer to Harry (meaning he became plastered to his side rather than beside him) and asked, "Mummy and I would be ever so pleased to make amends."

Harry gave a full body twitch as he stepped away from the aspiring rapist. "Aunt Pet is a trooper. Doc will have her up and right as rain in no time. Now don't you two worry your pretty little heads about her any further." He nodded his head as if being decisive would actually fix things.

The whole incident was about to end amicably except Fate was not finished with using Harry as the toilet brush. A gang of adolescent girls happened to notice that a blond god/goddess-like creature was trying to make moves on a local boy. Not just any boy either; their local bady-boy and teenage heartthrob. Quidditch robes be damned- a shirtless Harry Potter in jogging pants was a rather attractive sight. Another attractive bit about him was the fact that the older lady had called him Lord Potter. Now what kind of socially responsible, hot blooded female is going to let a veritable god walk off with a complete stranger when he could stay right where he is and share the wealth with her?

Draco saw the bitches move closer. He knew the scenario. It seemed to be an unwritten rule: The first bloody second a girl/guy shows a little bit of interest in a guy at least four bints had to show up and make a play for him also.

He stepped closer to Harry, wrapped a perfectly manicured hand around the hot sweaty arm that seemed to be pushing him away rather than pulling him closer, and he hissed at them.

The girls all giggled and turned away as Harry panicked and broke free from the veela. Without making his apologies to Narcissa, he whirled around and dashed straight home.

Draco raised his head in the air and gave the lot of them disdainful looks. After tossing his platinum locks over his shoulder he turned back to his mother and said, "Did you hear that Mummy? Harry said I'm pretty."

The elder Malfoy watched the street that the black haired man had disappeared down and gave a quiet sigh of frustration. She was rarely wrong; this was going to be a very long campaign…


End file.
